Journal Entry: Paper Queens

Castle Moran's Great Hall — Spring 1831

Tonight, the Great Hall of Castle Moran was full of laughter and light, but to me, it felt like a stage for a play I had no wish to join. The Spring Gathering is meant to celebrate the season, but it was just another venue for a game I had refused to play. I watched the local nobility display their wealth and forge alliances, but I could see through their illusions to the truth: half the guests were not human at all.

I saw them through my sight, which remains even though my power is contained. I saw Lady Catherine O'Brien, a Seelie courtier, weaving enchantments with every smile, and Lord Marcus Fitzgerald, an Unseelie champion, spreading his influence like a subtle poison. This is the new battlefield, not in the sacred groves, but in the halls of power, where alliances are forged and destinies are shaped under the guise of politeness.

The old woman, Mrs. Bridget Murphy, came to me and warned me that such observations were dangerous if spoken aloud. Her words were a chilling reminder of the emotional clutter that had defined my life.

How can you have clarity when everything is a lie?

My father confirmed my worst fears: they have been placing their people—fairy-touched or fairy-ruled—in positions of influence for years.^. They want to open the threshold wide, to gain control over our world. The realization settled in my stomach with cold certainty. The paper queens and cardboard kings of this world believe they rule, but their power is merely pretense. They dance to music they cannot hear, played by musicians they cannot see.

And yet, in this understanding, came a strange kind of liberation. If their power is an illusion, perhaps my chains are too. I stood before Lord Luminous and Lady Nightfall without my mask, and I refused to choose. I rejected the premise of their game. They can threaten me, but I will not be a tool for their games.

The fairy courts vanished, taking their enchantments with them, and the nobles blinked, returning to normal. But nothing would ever be normal again. I had declared my independence from powers that do not recognize such declarations, and now I must live with the consequences.

I have become a refugee from the threshold, and as I am about to learn, freedom comes at a price.

This episode, "Paper Queens," is captured in the accompanying track. It embodies the tension of my first public defiance and the understanding that true power is found not in magical ability, but in the freedom to choose your own path.